Offensive Content Warning! OH NOES!

April 24th, 2007

Well, shit the bed!–looks like 80% of blogs contain “offensive” content! As Ars Technica fuckin’ reports,

Blogs are known to be a free-for-all for “expressive” content, but according to a new report by ScanSafe, a vast majority of blogs host content that is considered “offensive” and potentially “unwanted.” ScanSafe’s Monthly “Global Threat Report” for March 2007 says that up to 80 percent of blogs host offensive content, ranging from “adult language” to pornographic images. The company suggests that businesses should be aggressive about preventing users from accessing some or all of this material. And of course, they’d hope that you’d use their products to do so.

Naturally, this “report” is no doubt little more than a fuckin’ baiting tactic that ScanSafe, “The World’s Leading Provider of Web Security-as-a-Service,” hopes to use to lure in more corporate customers–but that doesn’t mean that the fuckin’ data they’ve accrued is necessarily fuckin’ suspect. After all, it’s simple enough to draw up a list of naughty fuckin’ keywords and compile a list of how many fuckin’ times those words appear on various motherfuckers’ blogs. And, judging from my experiences in the blogosphere, I’d have to say they’ve got a fuckin’ point: some of these motherfuckers can’t seem to say five fuckin’ words without tossing some manner of fuckin’ expletive into the mix.

But…what’s the problem here?

Ars Technica quotes:

ScanSafe’s larger focus is not necessarily on single instances of offensive content, but overall security and liability for employees who might get caught with undesirable content on their computers while at work. “The content on blogs and other sites powered by user contributed content is constantly changing. As a result, Web security solutions that rely on Web crawling—or periodically scouring the Web for threats—rather than actually scanning the URL each time it is requested, can leave users exposed to malware and unwanted content,” Nadir [ScanSafe’s Vice President of Product Strategy] said.

In simpler terms, let’s protect employees from getting nabbed for reading naughty material at work and from accidentally exposing corporate intranets to various forms of malware. I can understand implementing a defense against malware that could potentially damage a company’s systems or expose private data to the World At Large…but protecting against bad fuckin’ language? Gimme a fuckin’ break.

Here’s the deal, folks: I rarely use expletives in my general writings, simply because they’re usually unnecessary, nothing more than “the Invention of a barbarous Age, to set off wretched matter and lame Meeter.” I’ve often found those who overuse expletives of various sorts to be gauche and clearly lacking in solid material to discuss–yet it’s their right to write whatever they like in the sanctity of their own blogs. Furthermore, sometimes it’s necessary to throw in a good ol’ “fuck” or a “shit” of two–especially when quoting someone accurately, when using them for humor’s sake, or for rare instances of shocking emphasis.

And who’s to say what words are ultimately offensive or not? I certainly don’t have an attack of the vapors should my eyes come upon the word “cocksucker” in a text; nor do many in the contemporary world. Issues of obscenity have caused more pointless legal troubles than anything else…simply because “offensiveness” or “obscenity” is so incredibly difficult to define.

Which is why I find wanting to block or otherwise restrict anyone’s access to the Web based on something as mutable and as vague as a blog’s “offensive” word content to be ludicrous at best, and a waste of time and effort at most. Sure, most companies wouldn’t want their employees reading Fleshbot or pr0n reviews, but what about…say, Pegritz.com? I routinely post stories of an amusing and occasionally edifying nature whose only subject matter that could be considered “offensive” is the use of expletives here and there when spoken by characters. What about blogs that reference “offensive” words such as “nigger”, “ho”, “bitch” and so forth when discussing the pathetic state of popular hiphop? Would ScanSafe’s software block a website concerning mammograms and women’s health because it used that awful, dirty, pornomographic word “breast”?

Filtering content for malware and potentially deleterious code is admirable, and these days even necessary…but filtering content for a handful of fuckin’ words that some fuckers consider fuckin’ obscene is just stupid, because you’ll end up blocking not only 80% of the blogs Out There, you’ll end up blocking 80% of the entire fuckin’ Internet.

In short: FUCK DAT!