Archive for the 'Zen' Category
The Zen of Assholery: Cat-Piss Genji at the Filthy Well
May 8th, 2009
[PEGRITZ(.com)! is proud to present a new series of Zen tales, koans, and parables translated from the Japanese by yours truly, uhhh, me (Pegritz). All of these anecdotes are believed to have been written (or, at least, inspired) by the legendary Zen master Cat-Piss Genji (c. 1760(?) CE – who-the-hell-knows CE). Very little is known of Cat-Piss Genji’s life outside of the events and stories that Japanese Zen historian Ishizaki Kaigo (1920-2008 CE) collected and published under the moniker The Zen of Assholery. For all we know, he might not have even been a real dude. But that’s irrelevant, as Cat-Piss’s adventures and the many koans he is credited with coining brilliantly illuminate the ineffable nature of enlightenment and serve as some of the finest parables of right understanding found in the Japanese Zen tradition. Too bad not a single Zen school will admit to having been associated with him. Well…regardless, I’ve decided to translate as much of Ishizaki’s The Zen of Assholery into passable English as possible, believing that Western Zen—specifically Zen in America—is in desperate need of Cat-Piss Genji’s ruggedly individualistic message. Here then, is the first of my translations from The Zen of Assholery, titled “Cat-Piss Genji at the Filthy Well.”]
After travelling for some time, Cat-Piss Genji and a young monk who had been travelling with him came to a well outside a small town. The townspeople at the well thought Cat-Piss and his companion to be vagrants and attempted to drive them away with sticks and rocks. Then like a crazed ninja Cat-Piss beat the townspeople until they shit themselves then beat them again for shitting. He then stripped them of their clothes and threw their soiled linens into the well.
“Master!” the young monk exclaimed. “You have poisoned these people’s well with their own filth, and knocked half of them senseless! How can you do something like that? [alternate translation: Now why the fuck did you do that?!] “
“Do you think their shitty drawers made that well any less disgusting than it already was?” asked Cat-Piss Genji. “Do you think the ass-whuppin’ I gave them will help them realize Buddha nature? A filthy well and a busted ass are greater lessons than a thousand sutras! Maybe you need a little extra suffering [dukkha] of your own to get you off your ass?”
The young monk was at that moment enlightened. He turned and ran as far away from Cat-Piss Genji as he could.
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